The Controllers

“The Controllers”

Note : the dialogue is anything but final; it only serves as an indication.

  

  

1) (Breakup scene: woman leaves her boyfriend, out of the blue.) Start: shocked silence. A young man, hand frozen in mid-air movement, stares at a young woman who has, presumably, just said something extraordinary. Then:

Him: "What is this? Is this a joke?"

Her: "-I'm out. Geddit? I’m Off. I’m out of here, we're finished. So long."

"-Finished. ... What you talking about? What, what's going on, is this a joke, I don't get it, no, what are you..."

"-Joel, just -accept it already OK? I am not going to Rod's place and I am not meeting you later, I've had it, goodbye! I've had quite enough of your roving eye and your so-called acquaintances who all just happen to wear a skirt"

"-What?? What you talking about! Jesus Florence is this some kind of joke, who put you up to this, are we on camera, is this -is this Candid Camera or what? I don't understand, I haven't got a clue what you're on about! What are you"

"-There, that's it, said my piece, I'm out of here, bye! So long, sucker." She starts to leave (they may be in a restaurant).

"-Florence... Florence! Where you going?!! What is this about? I swear, I swear to God I have no idea what you're on about, this must be some kind of mistake, this is a joke, this gotta be a joke someone's playing on me I don't understand"

"-Go on, play innocent, I know! I - know."

"-You - know what exactly? I never did, I swear to God, I'm not that kind of guy"

but she's gone. Other customers stare at him. Puzzled, he comes back to his seat. A waitress brings him his cup of coffee ("There you are, Sir. Have a nice day!"). He stares at the coffee, then drinks it : "Ffffffuck! This is boiling!" He gets up and storms off.

The waiter turns his head: "Huh. And who's paying? ... Typical. Loser."

2) Joel drives off furiously with no proper regard for the other road users, under a rapidly darkening sky. A few moments later, he pulls over at the side of the road to collect himself; massages his scalp, muttering: "No no no no, you can't do that, you just can't do that, wait till I".

His mobile phone rings: "Hi there, it's me, listen, you guys still coming over tonight?"

"Rod Rod, listen, er... I can't talk right now."

"-Huh? What's going on? You sound..."

"-Yeah well, I might as well tell you, Florence's just dumped me."

"-She what??"

"-She's just dumped me."

"-You kidding!"

"-Nope. I ain't, listen, can't talk right now, I'm too... as you can imagine."

"-Don't take it too badly mate, listen, come on over if you want, we'll talk about it, you can still come over, don't worry"

"-Hmm..."

"-Ah don’t worry about it mate,let it all out, you'll tell me what happened -remember, plenty of fish in the sea"

"-Oh pleeease! Don't give me that! Plenty of fish -fucking hell... Is that all you can find to say?! Sorry but can't talk right now, gottago. Need to... take a drive for a while, see what happens. It's all in the air right now." The main character snaps his phone shut and throws it on the passenger seat. He comes to a crossing and wonders where to turn, left or right (camera movement). Then he stares at the wall opposite, revs up the engine... (Dramatic music). Flashbacks from his life: as a teenager, when he came back home one day and took off his woolly hat to reveal an iroquois haircut to his bemused Mum; when he courted Florence totally extravagantly; when he streaked at a football match and got chased around by stewards; when he spray-painted a love message onto a wall in a wealthy neighbourhood; when he ran away from a church in the middle of a ceremony... All of this leading to Florence's face, and her final words: "So long, sucker."

Opening credits.

1) Cut to a banal looking, corporate building. A young man (Chris Rock?) arrives, obviously a bit late; would-be casually greets the ominous looking security guard at the reception "Hey there. … And the same to you, buddy."; gets into a lift (with some sort of celestial muzak playing); creeps into his office discreetly. He works in an ordinary looking office with four other ordinary looking people, each of them already typing away at their computers.

His colleague to his left remarks: "Huh. Another late night, I take it...?"

The young man, mischievously: "-School exchange. Swedish. I just had to show them around, dinn't I?"

"-I bet you did. Anyway, you'd better get down to it double-fast, I'm starting to get some interference in my sector from your side."

"-Are you, really...?" (only half-interested)

"-I'm serious, mate. I'm experiencing some traffic issues, coming from your quarter. You need to sort it out, there's one record in particular, it sort of spills out if you don't see to it presto, it's threatening to get out of control. Check your tangents."

"-Huh. Great. Let's see. What have we got here then..." (switches on his PC, various screens come up, not too visibly defined: suspense as to what his activity is about) "Who have we got pissing over your fence..."

On his screen, a red number stands out against a list of blue references. He looks it up: "Three... o... hmm.... six.... eight... gotcha. Allix, Joel; so... what have we got here... coupling reference split... alternative section and... -self-destruct? Self-destruct?" Turns to his colleague. "What's wrong with that? If the record’s headed for self-exit, where’s the problem?"

"-Where’s the problem? Look up the stream of critical tangents and you’ll see: if the subject's allowed, it will crash into a school-bus, sixteen casualties coming up, that doesn't look good for your sector. But it's not so much the amount -that's no skin off my arse-, it's just that among the exits, I've got two refs of mine which I can’t afford to lose. Look."

Employee 1 takes a look at his colleague's screen as instructed. Voice-over from protagonist’s colleague: "-Now then... Let's proceed according to conjecture shall we... That's a mighty outward arc, that..." "Enter" key pressed, and still images of the main character crashing his car appear. Change of window. A street scene. Zoom in on two black kids. More keys pressed, fast-forward motion, these two kids grow up to become footballers playing for Spurs. Fast-forward to a match between Spurs and Arsenal: these two teenagers score the winning goals. "'You see?"

Employee 1: "-Er... nope, not yet."

Employee sighs and rewinds his window, back to the "time zero" indication. He enlarges the other window, featuring the car crash; zooms; fast-forwards a bit. Among the school-bus’s victims are the two kids.

Employee 1 ("Andy") sniggers: "Ha! So what, I'm not a Spurs fan, why should it concern me? So be it, they won't, too bad for you mate!"

Vexed, his colleagues ("Donny"): "-Why, thank you very much for your concern. Of course you don't care, you don't seem to put a lot of care into any of your records -let alone mine. Anyway, the reason why this record's been flagged -should you ever pay attention- is that you've already exceeded your quota for the week, look!" He pulls up another screen; they check statistics. Andy has to agree. "See? You just can't delete everything in sight, you've already pushed your luck last month with your serial killer, you won't pull it off every single quarter!" Donny nods towards a door: "From what I understand, some people are already not best pleased...and you sure don't want to upset them."

They both look at the (editor) office's door, with a plaque and a (unreadable from this distance) name on it. Andy shudders, and hastily remembers to knot his tie.

2) Back to the driver, still contemplating crashing his car. Flashbacks of happy moments with his ex-girlfriend, all of which lead up to this moment. "These are the days..." by George Michael could be playing on top of the happy moments. Cut back to him, staring ahead, with a fixed stare, with only the noise of the engine on the soundtrack. Then he looks left, he looks right, and back at the opposite side of the road, unable to make up his mind (image effect cf. the start of Korean "Sex Is Zero"). Upwards, back-traveling, aerial helicopter shot of the car, at the crossroads. Echoing sampling of "these are the days..." floating in the air, as the camera pans out, upwards.

3) Cut back to the office; Andy scratches his chin: "OK OK, what's the big deal here... No big deal. No need to panic, Mr. Right is in the house, hang in there, buddy, don't do anything rash. Here we go, let's give him a cross alternate variation then." Close-up of the screen: command "Confirm"; he selects "Alternate". "Let me turn you right, into column B buddy..." -Beep-

Donny his colleague: "Hey, hang on, pay attention will you? You can't do that, if you do that, look what happens." More PC computations. They consult the rest of the events unraveling on Donny's workstation.

4) Joel takes a deep breath; turns right, just as the (possibly ill-fated) school-bus passes by. Soundtrack: Blink 182-"I Miss You". He parks outside a pub; goes get a pint. A few moments later, he strikes a conversation with a lovely waitress who takes pity on him. Pause then close-up on the waitress. Fast-forward: she leaves her boyfriend who loses his temper in his bank office where he gets a warning. Sitting down and pretending to cool down, he sets about sabotaging records in an act of vengeance. Fast-forward. The result: three companies go bust in Donny's sector. Camera turns: cutback to Donny looking at the camera, i.e. his computer screen, looking mightily annoyed (with the consequence).

5) On the top corner of the screen red messages announcing casualties appear. Donny is annoyed: "No fuckin' way, can't accept that, it's gonna mess up my quarterly balance even more, can't have it, son. Stick to your quarter, mate; only minor correlates allowed, remember? Minor. You'll have to find another alternate."

"-And so I shall... and so I am." Andy replays the scene and pauses it at the crossroads' choice; he murmurs: "Well left then..."; presses keys. A "Warning: Illegal Command" sign appears on the screen after Andy has turned his back and got up.

6) Fast-rewind: Joel is back at the crossroads considering where to go. Suddenly inspired ("Oh what the hell!"), he turns left and drives off.

7) Andy yawns, keeps an eye on his screen, frowns at the warning sign, presses a few keys ("Proceed"), and announces (maybe just to reassure himself): "Nah. Nothing to it. Nothing to it, if you don't have the right, then take the left." Turns to Donny: "Yo, you wanna coffee? I'll get myself one."

"-Sure, milk, two sugars, right? Cheers." Andy goes off to the kitchenette, straightening his tie, drawing displeased looks from an older, studious looking cardigan wearing female colleague.

"-And good morning to you too!" Brief glimpse of the empty sky outside the window (no skyscraper showing).

8) Back to the main story. Joel is driving back home (song on the radio to be determined), looking grim. He mutters: "Well fuck you then, can't take anything for granted these days..." He finds himself in an unfamiliar neighbourhood: dodgy place with boarded-up windows, bums warming their hands over fires, and so on. Menacing looks from locals at his rather posh car. Joel looks slightly worried: "Hmm... shouldn't be here should I..."; continues on his journey and tries to get out of the area. A sign in front of him reads: "Road Works delays ahead", but he carries on. He passes by a car crash with victims being attended to; he asks what happened. A rescue service person tells him: "You'd better turn round son, the road ahead hasn't been finished, still people use it, it's a slaughter every evening." He carries on regardless. Then Joel notices his petrol gauge indicator flashing: in the red. He curses, looks around: "Bah! There's gotta be a station ahead..." (And so on, despite various warning signs not to persevere in this direction, for example brakes hard at some stage to avoid running over a black cat crossing the road.) Joel ponders his personal situation ("I know I shouldn't have... hmmm, maybe that time... oh well so what... we're all human after all, she would have in the same position!... Well... maybe not") and doesn't pay proper attention: perseveres on the increasingly dangerous course he embarked upon on a whim. Doing so, he ignores a "Road End" sign, goes under a bridge, turns a corner, and arrives at... the end of the world. His car screeches to a halt as he stops in front of ...the vertiginous horizon of nothingness facing him. Shock horror. Joel gingerly gets out of the car and inspects the awesome vision right in front of him. (At this stage, appropriate music.)

9) Cut back to the office. Andy is chatting up the sandwich trolley girl ("What have we got today? Ooh, angel cakes, lovely"); comes back to his desk to discover a "Code Red Fatal Error" message flashing, alerted by a loud beep (which draws aggravated looks from his colleagues). "Ooooh shit... what have I done again...don't tell me I……." / Older colleague: "-Yes. Yes you did." He slumps down his chair in horror as he discovers the situation; clutches his mouth. "Man..." Cut to Joel standing in bewilderment in front of the vacuum, pacing up and down the edge of the cliff. Voice-over (Donny's): "All in a day's work!"

Donny leans over and has a good laugh: "Je-sus! You managed it, you actually did! What are you, the angel of death? I was told this happens once in a blue moon, nobody from this office can even remember the last time it happened but, hey, you made it man, re-sult! Outstanding! Right to the margin! -Joking apart son, you'd better sort it out double-quick or else the system will spend too much trying to restabilise and you-know-who's gonna step in" (nod at the manager's door) "This is no good, no, seriously, rewind, rewind at once! You may just have time before you-know-who spots it and comes down on us!" nodding at the superior's door.

Andy puts his sandwich down and concentrates. Then: "-I've got it! Listen, what if I just delay him by... ten seconds, like. He self-exits if he wants too, and misses the schoolbus, bingo, everyone happy!"

"-Hmm... Surely too simple, the system would have taken care of it automatically, remember the acceptable time margin... In any case, rewind yeah, can't be leaving him at the margin, that's for sure."

Sound effect as the computer processes the commands (cf. the by now ancient buzz made when getting online on a dial phone).  Andy: "-And we'll pretend it never happened"

10) They watch what happens if Joel decides to crash his car a few moments later (office setting seguing into the road scene via the computer screen). A slowly cruising police car making a round (which should have been glimpsed in the background in a previous sequence of this sub-plot) drives up right behind him and signals him to move on ("Come on get a move on!"). But Joel's car stalls, and the cops have to overtake him, drive away. Camera pans to another location nearby in the opposite direction the cops drove off to: a woman gets attacked in the street. Freeze frame.

Donny: "Huh oh. Can't let this one happen, she's mine. She's the future nurse of one of my movers-and-shakers. I need her for later. The cops were supposed to pass by at that moment. It's an opportunistic incident, check out its properties. No can do -Scrap it, mate."

Andy: big sigh. Pensively, to himself: "-I could throw him in jail... traffic violation, DUI, a cute little accident along the way, whatever... That'd be a few months or years sorted right there... hmm..."

Donny: "-Look, you've used that one quite a few times already, haven't you!  Another case of ethnic minority yeah? Now that would be a bit conspicuous wouldn’t it?” (with a guarded nod to the Editor office)  “Bin it then! Can't pull that trick every time, sorry mate! Take it for what it is but... seems to me you're on a collision course here. And not just for that bozo down there. Looks like you and him" (nodding at the manager's door) "may just have to sit down for a little talk soon if you don't sort it out double-quick, 'know what I'm saying? Pull yourself together!"

Andy: "-OK OK, no need to get melodramatic, it's only a job! I'll get it right, just need to..."

Donny: "-pay attention maybe? ... Just kidding, mate. Let's have a look. In my experience, no case is ever desperate, there's always means and ways to get by. Life -as they call it- is never one-dimentional, it throws up all sorts of opportunities, you just need to catch them, turn them to your advantage… Look," (nervous cough, lowering his voice) "I know how you've ended up here. No-one else needs to know, but I happen to be aware... You must admit that it was a bit, ... spectacular to say the least, right? …And look where it got you."

Andy: "-Yeah but what a laugh though! The look on Al Gore's face that night, and with him the millions who had elected him! Ha ha ha! My oh my... I 'been a naughty boy, I hold my hand up –but I've been sanctioned."

Donny: "-Precisely. You‘ve paid the price. So you don't wanna be repeating your... indiscretions. Stay on-course for once. Otherwise your skeletons will be dragged out of the closet and... God knows what the consequences will be this time."

Andy: "-I know I know, you're right. The thing I don't get though, is how did you hear from my greatest moment? I was assured it would remain confidential, between me and my Editor at the time..."

Donny: "-I know is all. I happen to have contacts and protection. It’s the way things work. I scratch their back, they scratch my back -see?"

Andy: "-Huh."

Donny: "-You would do well to take this on board. Anyhow... back to the present. This Allix character... typical ball-breaker with a mind of his own, huh? When will they ever learn..."

Andy: "-What shall we do with him!"

Donny: "The trick is to stay methodical. ... Let's review the action, shall we?"

11) They rewind the action again and make the protagonist wait a bit longer (they set a timer to “twenty more seconds”), but the police car is still around. Rewind again + more delay, but then another car appears behind, the driver sounds his horn, and Joel, contrite, has to make a turn ("Er... where am I going again?").

12) Another colleague looks up from his workstation, annoyed: "Andy, no. You're delaying my presidential ambulance thirty-two minutes down the timeline. Find something else." Cursing under his breath, Andy rewinds again. Close-up: Command "Chronology" on the screen. Andy's Voice-over: "Hmmm..."

13) Back to the breaking up scene on the PC screen. Andy pauses and edits a few sentences out, from the script he is given on the screen. He presses "Enter".

14) The scene starts again, but this time doesn't make much sense as Joel is not given enough time to understand what Florence is saying before she storms out, halfway through her now incomprehensible dialogue.

Florence: "I'm -out.” (edit) “...just happen to wear a skirt." She storms off, as before.

Joel: "-Eh?? Come again?" Discovers a cup of (unasked for at that stage) coffee on the table too late as he gets up to follow her; knocks it over as a result.

15) Getting annoyed, Andy presses more keys. Presses "Rewind" for some time. He comes across a scene showing Joel flirting with a girl. Andy: "Aha..."

In a bar, Joel finds himself next to an attractive girl after a common female friend has left to go to the ladies' room.

Joel: "So. Huh. You're a friend of Marina's, right?..."

Blandine, looking away: "-Right."

Joel: "-... And you were saying... you're having trouble with your consultant"

Blandine: "-Yep. ... The creep's totally screwed up my account; every time I try to get back to him, he's laying it on me big time. What a creep. You can never get any definite figure off this guy."

Joel: "-Why don't you bring the matter to his manager?"

Blandine: "Yeah. Right. Straight to the head of Lloyds Ascot! Sure."

Joel: "-You haven't tried? Surely your man will be shitting himself -forgive my French- if he gets a bollocking from Numero Uno. ‘Course he will. You should try, really."

Blandine: "-Sure I should. And how exactly do I get his number?"

Joel: "-Leave it to me. Wanna bet? You have a receipt from the bank? Some headed letter?"

Blandine: "-I suppose I have. Maybe. ... What, ‘you serious? Let me see..." (goes through her handbag). "Here. What I saying, look."

Joel takes the letter: "-Hmm... Here's the number..." Takes out his phone. Dials. "Hello? Hello? Thank you for finally taking me call, I’ve been kept on hold for twenty minutes, this is Barclays' regional had office, I need to speak to your branch manager, Mr. Berg ... Pardon? This is not Mr. Berg? Oh but which branch are you? Ah, Ascot, beg your pardon, so this must be Mr. Berg's new office then .. No? Mr. Pickott you say? Pickott... Ah. Now let me see, I have a Alan Pickott on my list... David? David Pickott? Dear me, we certainly need to update our records -In any case, would you be so kind as to transfer me to the Oxford branch, I still need to sort something out with Berg there. ... Eh? You have Mr. Dickins on your list? Well I’ll be! When was Mr. Berg gone? You don't know? I take it you must be new, see: I used to deal with Mr. Berg on a regular basis but I suppose that would have been a few years ago already, how silly of me… Must have been before whatshisname again took his place, this new branch chief then... Orvell -that's it, Orvell replaced him. In any case, Mr. Dickins's in charge now, fine, do pass me Mr. Dickins. Sure, his secretary, then. Miss... Greenwood, that's right. Sarah Greenwood. Thank you ever so much. ... Allo? Sarah? Yes, Sarah? Orvell speaking, yes, Dickie's predecessor, how is he? Listen Sarah, I'm running late for the Pru meeting, and need to remind Dave Pickott in Ascot of our golf tournament, I haven't got his mobile on me, could you be an absolute angel and remind me, great. ... Sure I'll hold. Should be under "P", I should think! Yes... Yes... That's the one... 55..6...8..38… 55 -pre-ci-se-ly! Smashing. Thank you Sarah and say "Hi" to Dickie for me will you? Great. Bye." Hands Blandine the number he scribbled on a napkin: "There you go. The big chief's private number. Feel free to use it in the evening sounding like you've got access to many similar numbers he won't want to get called from."

Blandine: "-Wow. Phew. I say. You're a dangerous man to know you are. What is it you're doing again, you said?"

Joel, getting up (falsely modest): "-Bah. Piece of cake. All in a day's work, could get you much better info than that but I’m afraid ‘must dash. I take it I'll be seeing you at Taylor's party on Friday?"

Blandine: "-Party, what party? That's the first I hear about it!"

Joel: "-Oops. Me and my big mouth, looks like you've been kept out of the loop, this is a bit of a hot one this one, Taylor's notorious Fridays... ‘Tell you what, get down to the joint anyway and should someone amongst the guests ask you, tell them I 've invited you on his behalf OK?" Starts to leave.

Blandine: "-But. Hang on. Hang on, where is this secret occasion I wasn't informed of?"

Joel: "-Oh. Sure, of course: it's taking place at the Turtle Club on Friday, starting at eleven. Get there looking foxy, and -I was just thinking- if Marina hasn't mentioned it to you ...maybe better not mention it to her. She may not be on the list herself, no need to rub it in, bye gottafly now"

Joel leaves the table and the bar with a secret smirk on his face: "I'll see you alright on Friday..."

16) Andy voice-over: "Good."

He deletes large excerpts from this scene and re-edits / replays it. Comic effect as Joel suddenly finds himself in another part of the room (where he is supposed to stand at the end of the scene previously shown). He is puzzled, but exits as he is supposed to, with a smirk on his face. He catches himself smirking in a mirror, and readjusts his features, startled; looks around the bar; leaves for good. Andy voice-over: "Well, whatever, OK... what's our timeline now..." Timetrack appears on the screen (just like in a dubbing studio).

17) Still images / scenes are speeded up and skipped, and we are back to the road junction where Joel is considering his next move. "Sorted." Joel thinks hard and decisively presses the accelerator.

18) Cut to Andy, jubilant: "Nice one, sorted. Phew... Now where’s our babe I'm staaarving me, anyone seen the sandwich girl yet? Trolly Dolly? Sarnie Sandy? She should be around by now. Oh. She was around already, has she? What’s the time now, I get confused."

A previously glimpsed female colleague tut-tuts him: "Now excuuuse me here, but you just can't alter the global timeline like that, you're affecting my records! I've got a traffic jam developing now what with the new evolutions. No no no, I can't accept your overriding..."

Andy looks annoyed; walks up to her desk (under his breath "Fffuck's sake what is it again, you old...): "Aaaah Fiona” (with a big smile on his face) “What seems to be the problem?" He checks his colleague's PC screen: a dozen records are turning red in her rolling sequence of numbers. She points them out and explains: "-Check their ID, you can see they're yours, all of them, ‘must have F-fived your sequence is my guess. Well, it's all good and well you might think, but see what happens if you cut off fifty seconds of my line!" She presses a few keys.

19) Back to the flirting scene, this time shown from another angle. The timeline at the bottom of the screen indicates in a different colour the edited segments. These affect an important discussion involving by-standers, the issue of which is drastically altered as a result of Andy's manipulation. (Comic effect. For instance, somebody walks into a door which has now been closed by Andy's edit.) A by-stander who was supposed to sign a contract now finds herself talking to herself, as the other person has been deleted from the scene.

19) Andy's colleague: "Now. See what you've done? You can't just chop and chuck out whatever you don't fancy, life's a bit more complex, everything's linked. F-fiving is only acceptable as a last gap measure need I remind you. Please refer to the manual: Last gap measure. Only for Grade As; is he a Grade A? Is he a president, a Nobel prize scientist or a pop star? No? Then you can't use this trick, out of the question, that'd be too easy. Just imagine if we started treating everybody the same, giving them the same privileges... Besides, with what you're creating, I've got a world of trouble piling up on my side, and I won't have that. No way." Indeed more record numbers turn red on her screen. "Sort out your own mess Andy, and you'd better do it quick before you paralyse the entire system. I can only deal with a few minor jams. After that, it gets... exponentially hairy."

Andy tries a few things, to no avail. There could be an aural indication such as a little soundtrack tune that always fittingly ends up badly: the tape getting shred or slowing down -that sort of amusing disaster signature.

Andy, starting to sweat: "Holy fuck, that's it, I'm now officially stuck, I don't get it! ... If this son of a bitch insists on..." Puzzled, annoyed, he stares at his screen, presses a few more keys in vain, now seriously panicking. More beep-beeps (error messages) on his workstation to his consternation and his colleagues' increasing irritation. Looking at the intimidating (editor) office door, under his breath: "Je... sus, I'm lost at sea here, what d'you want me to do?" Big sigh.

Then sheepishly, Andy gets up and makes his way to the old spinster type. "Maysie. Maysie, ah... so sorry to disturb you again but, I'm, hmm, really stuck now. Frankly I'm lost for a solution. I went through all standard procedures but this son of a –er, gun- keeps having it his own way or else he messes up the entire picture. This is getting really embarrassing and I, er, since you’re the most experienced here may I, er, (I need your help. Please.)"

Maysie allows herself a little smile, pretends not to flinch, finally answers. "-Fancy that. Mr. Hotshot. So you don't find it "so boring" (i.e. words he used to describe his job situation earlier) after all then... Let me ask you, Andrew. Why do you think you're experiencing difficulties with this particular record? Hmmm? You want to play God? –H’a! It would appear you want to cut corners …pretty much like your subject down here?” (Andy has to indulge her and pretends to take her joke, takes it on the chin) “Now let's recap before we reconfigure. Chronology - actions - process – effects. Remember? Now I take it you have applied all standard procedures..."

Andy: " Yeah yeah, sure. I mean... yes Maysie, I think I did; I've been ever so thorough, totally respected the guidelines I have"

20) Back to the main story: (as someone is re-editing this work in progress) stills and decomposed scenes appear; fast-forwards and rewinds; chopped up dialogue lines recomposed to form nonsensical sentences.

Andy: "It's just that, ahem, some people are never, er, satisfied with... well I suppose their destiny, like..."

Maysie: "-So you chopped and chucked. And each time you end up producing an overspill, is that right? No wonder your colleagues don’t appreciate their sector being affected." Cut to the various resolutions, each of them ending in tragedy or impossibility, such as: a character is driving and suddenly finds herself devoid of a car and falls on her arse (cartoon style) in the street.

One of Andy’s office desk-bound workers looks up from his / her cubicle, unimpressed: "-Hey! What ‘you playing at there! You want to create a diplomatic incident?? Careful now cos' otherwise, I might just redirect my tropical tornado up your Northern arse, is that understood?"

21) Cut to a Russian looking avenue, suddenly invaded by a cloud of locusts (other examples to decide: a polar bear on a beach?).

22) Andy, red-faced under Maysie's interrogation: "-Well, I suppose... I probably did."

Maysie: "-You probably did. ... The question is: did you have any choice in the matter? Is it the case subject’s whole fault?"

Andy: "-OK OK, I admit it! I admit it, I hold my hand up, I messed up, I messed up big time! Shouldn’t have jerked him around! The thing is, I’m running out of alternatives, I may have been ever so slighty trigger-happy, and now I've typed myself in a corner."

Maysie: "-Right. At last we're getting somewhere. So you agree that you have run out of “cop-out” alternates; you agree that you have reached the point of no return."

"-Yes yes"

"-And why do you think that is, then?"

"-Gee, I'm really stuck here. I thought... I thought I had some leeway you know? some licence, latitude to manoeuver but... -Looks like I've used them up already."

"-Maybe you have. Maybe you have. But are you the only determining factor here?"

"-What do you mean?"

"-Are you the only force at work? ... What about our young friend down there? ... Have you checked the indecision rate?"

"-Indecision rate?"

"-Have you ever considered there might be a slight imbalance? Hmm? Between your two forces: yours ...and his?"

They check on Andy's PC.

"From what you're saying, it sounds to me like a typical case of... See? Indeed. You've overplayed the determinism ratio. Looks to me like someone here's been very heavy-handed recently with his microcosm. As you know, the system can only tolerate a certain swing of the pendulum in one direction, until it compensates in the other, let's see... ha! Just as I thought. Check out this amazing free agent rate. 25, 5. Quite impressive. You're starting to get what has happened? Your repeated tampering and forced resolutions left right and centre are coming back to haunt you, and this Mr. Allix is the beneficiary. At this rate, I daresay he's almost out of control."

Back to past sequences showing Joel as a free spirit (examples include: a teenager, turning up home with a woolly hat which he takes off to reveal... a punk haircut; leaning out of on a train window, slapping the faces of people on the quay waving goodbye to their loved ones; and so on)

"Most impressive. I haven't seen a free agent rate like this one since... oh, Leonardo or Boris Vian, dear me! This is a subtle programme, in case you have forgotten. All data linked, within an overall balance to respect."

Begrudgingly, Andy grumbles: "-OK OK, I get it. I may have been a tad too liberal, I've been too hasty in my resolutions."

"-Indeed. Do not mistake our mission for what it isn’t; it is not about firing off resolutions, young man. Resolutions is the easiest button to press. Ours it to enforcing progressions, harmonising courses, and this takes skill. Skill and patience. I will have no slap-dash butchering job in my department if you don't mind. We don't deal with the Middle East or World War periods here. This department -let me remind you- calls for a modicum of subtlety. You want to cross out entire sections, apply for another section! I hear areas around petrol reserves are a bit more... tasty, as you will them."

(Cut to another office, a fat employee munching on a burger nonchalantly crosses out (Shift Key + Arrow down a long list) an entire section on his screen. Accompanying sound effect: a bomb slowly falling down.)

Andy: "-OK OK, I know you're right, so what do we do now? How do we deal with it?"

"-I love the "we", dear; love the "we". Hmm... How we proceed in a case like this is, considering you must have already tried the usual operations -you have, haven’t you?- we’re probably left with no option but to reach for the big gun. I've seen it happen before, you know. Young Turks who don't care for their subjects, they think they have full power they do, full control over their subjects and they end up getting their period in a fine mess. Look, I know a degree of artistic licence is one of the perks of the job; we’re all allowed a bit of... mischief, every now and then"

(has a quick chuckle to herself, to her audience's bafflement and embarrassment). Quick sequence: shots of English jockey jumping off his horse; Roberto Carlos's free-kick against France; Gerald Ford falling down the Air Force One stairs; other mishaps caught on camera (cf. YouTube for countless “fail” examples).

"…but we can't over-indulge. We are "experienced practitioners" let me remind you, and therefore must conduct ourselves appropriately. We certainly all have our good days and bad days... We may even feel well-inclined towards some of our subjects..."

Cut to someone winning at the Lottery or a footballer scoring, this kind of example.

"... but what remains first and foremost our priority, regarding our work ethics?"

Andy: "-We, er... “scrupulously uphold a unbiased attitude towards our” er... factual records in an objective manner"

Maysie: "-Precisely. We do not bring our personal life to the office. Have you been bringing your personal life to the office, Andy? Please don’t answer this, actually. The fact of the matter is -for one reason or another best left only known to yourself- you have rather made a boob of things, haven't you. So! We have to deal with it. We're going to solve your predicament ...the only way remaining, before" -respectfully glancing at the office door- "before we reach for the fire blanket and get some people involved."

Shudder, sigh, (crosses herself?) she sits down at his desk. "Very well. Kindly give me your seat -and fetch me a nice cuppa will you. Milk, one sugar, thanks. Now. What's your password? I need to access your past and peripheral databases."

Andy: "-Thanks Maysie,  really appreciate it, you're saving my ar- my bacon here, you really are, I owe you one, promised. Next time you have a... a crimewave starting in your sector, I'll import it in mine, don’t worry about my balance-sheet"

Maysie, without looking up: "-Swap me a genital infection for a free-scoring footballer, is that a deal?"

Andy: "That's a deal."

Donny announces jokingly: "Your life -retake! Please gather round to witness the miracle of the mighty Maysie."

Office colleagues mill around, admiringly her as she goes about the task, mumbling to herself. Voice-over lines (possibly from already existing films, as a cheeky wink to film buffs) from different voices: "So you'll call me, right?" "Sure I will.... (in your dreams)!" "You make your bed, you lie in it." "And let that be a lesson to you!" "Oh you didn't!" "...and then she turned into a bicycle." with rewinding sound effects as Maysie re-orders scenes. All along, the clerks, assembled around Maysie, are looking at us (i.e. the computer screen) with variously amused or dubious or interested expressions. Maysie concentrates for a moment, then starts punching numbers, mumbling to herself: "Let's see... Yeah, well... hmm... obviously if he insists on having it his way, he won't get many... well... Told you! Have to toe the line, son. Now then… what if he... ah... thanks god for that!... 'Problem is... well...For crying out loud, it's not my job to rewrite the entire history of his century! ...OK then. OK if you want to play silly bugger...". She finally presses "Enter".

23) Cut to an Oriental country. A butterfly flies near a dog that starts barking. The dog strains against the leash and then calms down. In doing so, though, he has knocked a dirty jar. An insect is attracted by the smell emanating from it and flies off, only stopping to sting someone sleeping, who wakes up and scratches himself. It's a young boy, who can't go back to sleep. Later, he gets up to go working in a football shoe assembly line. The boy is in need of sleep and can't concentrate on his work: he misses a couple of stitches in one shoe. Close-up of the shoe, which gets packed up and sent away to Europe where it is sold to a footballer, who runs onto the pitch wearing it (all in a one shot sequence). It is raining, and players keep slipping left right and centre. In fact, the referee blows for a penalty after a player goes down inside the box at some stage. Outrage in the other team, but the referee maintains his decision and even books a dissenter. Another player prepares to take the penalty but finally leaves it to the one with the Third World shoe. Close-up of the shoe, whose sole gets increasingly unstuck. The player fails to score. Jubilation on one side, despair on the other: panorama showing the disconsolate supporters. Then zoom back to a TV retransmission of the match, broadcast in a garage. The guys watching it call a mechanic over to join in their celebration. The man is ecstatic; in his elation, he absent-mindedly crosses out a box on his list of to-do items. This item is Joel's car's transmission system: fast zoom inside the machine a la "Fight Club" / "CSI". 
The next day, Joel comes to pick his car and goes off to meet Florence. They argue. He drives off, but a zoom on the underside of his car reveals a leak or something. As he arrives at the crossroads and pauses for a long time in his suicidal state, leaving his engine running, the leak is seen to get worse on the undercarriage. Back inside the car, Joel decides to end it all and revs up the engine (as shown in the original scene) ...but the car doesn't start. It doesn't start. Baffled, he starts again, furiously, and gets out, kicking the car. The police cruiser turns up as always at this stage of events and the cops ask him what is going on. Joel automatically calms down and explains his car trouble; the helpful cops advise him to call for help and notice he is a bit upset: "You 'alright buddy?".  Joel eventually locks the car and calls a cab "to go to work". On his way, he is all thoughtful. Suddenly inspired, he makes a few calls, hooking up with an old girlfriend, cancelling his offer to buy a flat, and announcing to his old mother that he will visit her this weekend to her delighted surprise. He feels much better. The taxi driver announces: "Here we are."

24) He arrives at the office where Andy, Donny, Maisie and co. work. He greets the receptionist: “Ah, mr. Hades; so sorry, I have been momentarily delayed...”

The End.

End credits: more genuine mishaps captured on camera (as if they had been orchestrated by a mischievous Controller.).

All rights reserved worldwide. Copyright Loig Allix Thivend, deposed on 02 Feb. 2004; available for treatment / development. "Timeline Lifeline" or "We're All Linked" or "The Final Cut" or "Edit And Be Damned"

Dialogue needs to be worked on: there should be a whole raft of double-entendres in the "puppets" world (i.e. Joel’s) hinting at destiny, along the thematic line of "retracing our steps back, if I could start all over again". The subplots could be shown as growing organically (a la "Lola Rennt") or as a stills sequences (reminiscent of "My Own Private Idaho"). Subtle parallel between Joel and Andy; the latter has a personal stake in needing to sort out the former's destiny, as he doesn't want to get into (professional) trouble with the unseen ominous hierarchical superior. Happy ending for the both of them as they make full use of the latitude of movement afforded to them (by Joel’s new situation / by the only oblique strategy left remaining for Andy), against what should ultimately be self-destructive predetermined parameters. If you are caught in a dilemma you can't get out of, there is only one solution: take the third option altogether. Overall structure underpinned by oblique sequence of events in the "Final Destination" tradition (re. the elaborate murder scenes where nothing proceeds in a straightforward fashion).

This fluid, multi-story will make for amusing camera / editing virtuosity as the narration weaves together several plots at varying speeds, going backward or forward.  The story so far / what has been shown becomes the subject of fun manipulations (cf. “Groundhog Day” in a way).

Also, the solutions to the various conundrums the two levels of protagonists (Andy’s and Joel’s) find themselves in must have been, in fact, already visible / present in the story so far.  A case of “it was right there in front of you” -except that their potentiality hasn’t been made full use of yet. Core concept: potentiality.

Fun depiction of office life: mundane, uninspiring, unrepresentative in any way of what turns out to be at stake, all too reminiscent of what viewers may be used to in their own professional lives. The equipment could look a bit shabby, with green characters on black background PC screens (based on my former office of twelve years), cubicles or Hessian covered partitions, “polite notices” (along the lines of “Now Wash Your Hands” / “Return All Mugs To The Kitchen Area”) on panels, big clock above the door, beige pastel colours. The big joke is that the Controllers are totally ordinary, and go about their mission with the typical enthusiasm of 9-to-5 desk-bound clerks.

Connection / parallel between Joel and Andy who turn out to be colleagues in an explained twist. In his own way, Andy too is undergoing a trying time. Cf. intimations of past indiscretions on his part that got him transferred to this mundane department: maybe he is serving some sort of Karmic penance, this is a test of his abilities...?

Names: "Donny" (for "Donnie Darko"), "Gaby", "Angie"? but this may be a bit too obvious. The company's name, which can only be glimpsed faintly on a panel, letterhead or a door plaque: "Life Index Ltd.". Columns of record numbers; windows opening to reveal the stories (such as Joel's) taking place; Excel tables of destinies parameters.

Addressing a (false) chronology problem: if the action is taking place in the evening, then it means that Joel works at night. After all, shaping destinies would be a 24/7 job. It would also countenance the fact that Joel and Andy may simply not know each other (one being a day-time worker and the other not); they may not be aware of the fact that their own destiny! is shaped by a colleague, another Controller.

Logline: These people hold your destiny in their hands. Not that they care. (picture of grumpy employees in short-sleeved shirt with tie combo at their cluttered desks) or Life's what they make it. or The script Kaufmann couldn't think of. 

Earlier (2002) version, with possible dialogue.

1) (Breakup scene: a woman leaves her boyfriend, out of the blue.) Start: shocked silence, a young man, frozen in midair movement, stares at a young woman who has, presumably, just spoken. Then:
Him: "You -what?"
Her: "I'm -off. Geddit? Off. Out of here, we're finished. So long."
"Finished. ... What you talking about? What, what's going on, is this a joke, I don't get it, no, exactly I don't get it. You..."
"Joel, just -accept it alright? I am not going to Rod's place and I am not meeting you later, I've had it, goodbye, I've had enough of your roving eye and your so-called acquaintances who all just happen to wear a skirt."
"What?? What you talking about! Jesus Florence is this some kind of joke, who put you up to this, are we on camera, is this -is this Candid Camera or what? I don't understand, I haven't got a clue what you're on about! What are you"
"There, that's it, I've said my piece, I'm out of here, bye! So long, sucker." She starts to leave (they may be in a bar).
"Florence... Florence! Where you going?!! What is this about? I swear, I swear to God I have no idea what you're on about, this must be some kind of mistake, this is a joke, this gotta be a joke someone's playing on me I don't understand"
"Go on, play innocent, I know! I - know."
"You - know what exactly? I never did, I swear to God, I'm not that kind of guy"
but she's gone. Other customers stare at him. Puzzled, he comes back to his seat. A waitress brings him his cup of coffee ("There you are, Sir. Have a nice day!"). He stares at the coffee, then drinks it : "Ffffffuck! This is boiling!" He gets up and storms off.
The waiter turns his head: "Huh. And who's paying? ... Typical. Loser."
2) Joel drives off, furiously, with no proper regard for the otehr road users, under a rapidly darkening sky. A few moments later, he pulls over at the side of the road, to collect himself, massaging his scalp, muttering: "No no no no, you can't do that, you just can't do that, wait till I".
His mobile phone rings: "Hi there, it's me, listen, you guys still coming over tonight?"
"Rod Rod, listen, er... I can't talk right now."
"What's going on? You sound..."
"Yeah well, I might as well tell you, Florence's just dumped me."
"What??"
"She's just dumped me."
"You kidding!"
"Nope. I ain't, listen, can't talk right now, I'm too..., as you can imagine."
"Don't take it too badly mate, listen, come on over if you want, we'll talk about it, come on, don't worry"
"Hmm..."
"Come on over, Joel, let it all out, you'll tell me what happened -remember, plenty of fish in the sea."
"Oh, pllllleeease! Don't give me that! Plenty of fish -fucking hell... Is that all you can find?! Sorry mate but can't talk, gottago. Need to... take a drive for a while, (to) see what happens. It's all in the air right now." The main character snaps his phone shut and throws it on the passenger seat. He comes to a crossing and wonders where to turn, left or right (camera movement). Then he stares at the wall opposite, revs up the engine... (Dramatic music – visual style of Gregory Crewdson photography). Flashbacks from his life: as a teenager, when he came back home one day and took off his wooly hat to reveal an iroquois haircut to his bemused Mum; when he courted Florence totally extravagantly; when he streaked at a football match and got chased by the stewards; when he spray-painted a love message onto a wall in a wealthy neighbourhood; when he ran away from a church in the middle of a ceremony... All of this leading to Florence's face and her final words: "So long, sucker."

Opening credits.

1) Cut to a banal looking, corporate building. A young man (Chris Rock?) arrives, obviously a bit late, would-be casually greeting the ominous security guard at the reception (must be frightening looking) "Hey there. And the same to you.", walking tall as if unconcerned; gets into a lift (with sort of celestial muzak playing) and gets into the toilet. He inspects his face and flattens his hair: he is unshaven. “Hmm…”. He produces a disposable razor and quickly sorts out his jowls and neck, as if deliberately sporting a goatee look. “Right. That shall do…”. He creeps into his office discreetly. He works in an ordinary looking office with four other ordinary looking people, each of them already typing away at their computers.
His colleague to his left remarks: "Look who the cat’s dragged in…deus ex machina in person” as the young man sits down to his desk. “Huh. Another late night, I take it...?"
The young man, mischievously: "High School exchange. Swedish. Simply the best, as in totally lost and needed some guidance, know what I mean. I just had to show them around, dinn't I?"
"I bet you did. The joys of discovery. Needed some taking in hand, right… Who were you pretending to be, this time? A stockbroker, the mayor’s son? Anyway, you'd better get down to it double-fast, I'm starting to get some interference in my sector from your side."
"Are you, really...?" (half-interested, sorting out his desk, switching on his PC and so on)
"I'm serious, mate. I'm starting to experience some traffic issues, coming from your quarter. “Tangents” in peril all over the place. You need to sort it out, there's one “record” in particular, it sort of spills out if you don't see to it presto, it's threatening to get out of control. Check your tangents."
"Huh. Great. Let's see. What have we got here, then..." (switches on his PC, various screens come up, not too well defined: suspense as to what the activity is about) "Who have we got who's pissing over your fence..."
On his screen, a red number stands out against a list of blue references. He looks it up: "Three... o... hmm.... six.... eight... gotcha. Thivend, Joel; so... what have we got here... coupling reference split... alternative section and... -self-destruct? Self-destruct?" Turns to his colleague. "What's wrong with that? If the record is headed for self-exit, where is the problem?"
"Where is the problem? Look up the stream of critical tangents: if the subject's allowed, it will crash into a school-bus, sixteen casualties coming up, that doesn't look good for your sector. But it's not so much the amount, that's nowt to do with me: it's just that among the exits, I've got two refs of mine, which I need. Look."
Employee 1 takes a look at his colleague's PC. Voice-over: "Now... Let's proceed according to conjecture... That's a mighty outward arc, that..." "Enter" key pressed, and still images of the main character crashing his car appear. Change of window. A street scene. Zoom in on two black kids. More keys pressed, fast-forward motion, these two kids grow up to become footballers playing for Spurs. Fast-forward to a match between Spurs and Arsenal: these two teenagers score the winning goals. "'You see?"
Employee 1: "Er... nope, not yet."
Employee sighs and rewinds his window, back to the "time zero" indication. He enlarges the other window, featuring the car crash; zooms; fast-forwards a bit. Among the victims in a schoolbus, which has been hit by the car, are the two kids.
Employee 1 ("Andy") sniggers: "Ha! So what, I'm not a Spurs fan, why should it concern me? So be it, they won't, no skin off my arse."
Vexed, his colleagues ("Donny"): "Of course you don't care, you don't seem to put a lot of care into any of your records -let alone mine. Anyway, the reason why this record's been flagged -should you choose to pay attention- is that you've already exceeded your quota for the week, look!" They check statistics. Andy has to agree. "See? You just can't delete everything in sight, you've already pushed your luck last month with your serial killer, you won't pull it off every single quarter!" Donny nods towards a door: "From what I understand, some authorities are already not best pleased...and you sure don't want to upset them."
They both look at the (editor) office's door, with a plaque and a (unreadable from this distance) name on it. Andy shudders, and hastily remembers to knot his tie.
2) Back to the driver, still contemplating crashing his car. Flashbacks of happy moments with his ex-girlfriend, all of which lead up to this moment. "These are the days..." by George Michael could be playing on top of the happy moments. Cut back to him, staring ahead, with a fixed stare, and only the noise of the engine on the soundtrack. Then he looks left, he looks right, and back at the opposite side of the road, unable to make up his mind (image effect cf. the start of Korean "Sex Is Zero"). Upwards, back-traveling, aerial helicopter shot of the car, at the crossroads. Echoey sampling of "these are the days..." floating in the air, as the camera pans out, upwards.
3) Cut back to the office; Andy scratches his chin: "OK OK, what's the big deal here... No big deal. No need to panic, Mr. Right is in the house, hang in there, buddy, and don't do anything rash. Here we go, let's give him a cross alternate variation, then." Close-up of the screen: command "Confirm"; he selects "Alternate". "Let me turn you right, into column B buddy..." -Beep-
Donny his colleague: "Hey, hang on, pay attention will you? You can't do that, if you do that, look what happens." More PC computations. They consult the rest of the events unraveling on Donny's workstation.
4) Joel takes a deep breath, and turns right, just as a school-bus passes by. Soundtrack: Blink 182-"I Miss You". He parks outside a pub, and gets a pint. A few moments later, he strikes a conversation with a lovely waitress who takes pity on him. Pause then close-up on the waitress. Fast-forward: she leaves her boyfriend who loses his temper in his office (at a bank) where he gets a warning. Sitting down, and pretending to cool down, he sets about sabotaging records in an act of vengeance. Fast-forward. The result: three companies go bust in Donny's sector. Camera turns: cutback to Donny looking at the camera, i.e. his computer screen, looking annoyed.
5) On the top corner of the screen red messages announcing casualties appear. Donny is annoyed: "No fuckin' way, I can't accept that, it's gonna mess up my quarterly balance even more, can't have it, son. Stick to your quarter, mate; only minor correlates allowed, remember? Minor.You'll have to find another alternate."
"And so I shall... and so I am." Andy replays the scene and pauses it at the crossroads' choice; he murmurs: "Well left, then..."; presses keys. A "Warning: Illegal Command" sign appears on the screen as Andy turns his back and gets up.
6) Fast-rewind: Joel is back at the crossroads considering where to go. Suddenly inspired ("Oh what the hell!"), he turns left and drives off.
7) Andy yawns, keeps an eye on his screen, frowns at the warning sign, presses a few keys ("Proceed"), and announces (maybe just to reassure himself): "Nah. Nothing to it. Nothing to it, if you don't have the right, take the left." Turns to Donny: "Yo, you wanna coffee? I'm gonna get myself one."
"Sure, milk, two sugars, right? Cheers." Andy goes off to the kitchenette, straightening his tie, drawing displeased looks from an older, studious looking, cardigan wearing female colleague. "And good morning to you too!" Brief glimpse of the empty sky outside the window (no skyscraper showing).
8) Back to the main story. Joel is driving back home (song on the radio to be determined), looking grim. He mutters: "Well fuck you, then, can't take anything for granted these days..." He finds himself in the unfamiliar suburbs: dodgy place with boarded-up windows, bums warming their hands over fires, and so on. Menacing looks from locals at his rather posh car. Joel looks slightly worried: "Hmm... I shouldn't be here...", he continues on his journey and tries to get out of the neighbourhood. A sign in front of him reads: "Road delays ahead", but he carries on. He passes by a car crash with victims being attended to; he asks what happened. A rescue service person tells him: "You'd better turn round, son, the road ahead hasn't finished been signal posted, it's a slaughter here every evening." But he continues. Then Joel notices his petrol gauge indicator flashing: in the red. He curses, and looks ahead: "Bah! There's gotta be a station ahead..." (And so on, despite various warning signs not to persevere in this direction, such as maybe he brakes to avoid running over a black cat crossing the road.) But Joel is pondering his situation ("I know I shouldn't have... hmmm, maybe that time... oh well so what... we're all human after all, she would have, for sure!... Well... -maybe not, ha!") and doesn't pay attention: he perseveres on his increasingly dangerous journey. Doing so, he ignores a "Road End" sign, goes under a bridge, turns a corner, and arrives at... the end of the world. His car screeches to a halt, as he stops in front of ...the vertiginous horizon of nothingness facing him. Shock horror. Joel gingerly gets out of the car and inspects the awesome vision right in front of him. (At this stage, appropriate music.)
9) Cut back to the office. Any is chatting up the sandwich trolley girl ("What have we got today? Ooh, angel cakes, lovely"); he comes back to his desk to discover a "Code Red Fatal Error" message flashing, alerted by a loud beep (which draws many aggravated looks from his colleagues). "Ooooh shit... what have I done again...don't tell me" / Older colleague: "Yes. Indeed." He sinks on his chair in horror as he discovers the situation, clutching his mouth. "Man..." Cut to Joel standing in bewilderment in front of the vacuum, pacin up and down the edge of the cliff. Voice-over (Donny's): "All in a day's work!"
Donny leans over and has a good laugh: "Je-sus! You managed it, you actually did! What are you, the angel of death? I was told this happens once in a blue moon, nobody can remember the last instance but, hey, you made it, man, re-sult! Outstanding! Right to the margin! -Joking apart son, you'd better sort it out double-quick or else the system will spend too much trying to restabilise and you-know-who's gonna step in" (nod at the manager's door) "-this is no good, seriously, rewind at once, at once!, before you-know-who spots it and comes down on us!" nodding at the superior's door.
Andy puts his sandwich down and concentrates. Then: "I've got it! Listen, what if I just delay him by... ten seconds, like. He self-exits if he wants too, and misses the schoolbus, bingo, everyone happy!"
"Hmm... Surely too simple, the system would have taken care of it automatically surely, remember the acceptable time margin... In any case, rewind, yeah, can't leave him at the margin, that's for sure."
Sound effect as the computer processes the commands (such as when getting online, for instance) Andy: "And we'll pretend it never happened shall we..."
10) They watch what happens if Joel decides to crash his car a few moments later. A slowly cruising police car making a round (which could be glimpsed in the background all along) gets behind him and signals him to move on ("Come on get a move on!"). But Joel's car stalls, and the cops have to overtake him. Camera pans/travels to another location nearby, where a woman gets attacked in the street. Freeze frame.
Donny: "Huh oh. Can't let this one happen, she's mine. she's the future nurse of one of my movers and shakers. I need her for later. The cops were supposed to pass by at that moment. It's an opportunistic incident, check out the properties. Scrap it, then."
Andy: big sigh. Pensively, to himself: "I could throw him in jail... trafic violation, a cute little accident along the way, whatever... That's a few months or years sorted...hmm..."
11) They rewind the action again and make him wait twenty more seconds, but the police car is still around. Rewind again. More delay, but then another car appears behind, the driver sounds his horn, and Joel, contrite, has to make a turn ("Er... where am I going again?").
12) Another colleague looks up from his workstation, annoyed: "Andy, no. You're delaying my presidential ambulance thirty-two minutes down the timeline. Find something else." Cursing under his breath, Andy rewinds again. Close-up: Command "Chronology" on the screen. Andy's Voice-over: "Hmmm..."
13) Back to the breaking up scene on the PC screen. Andy pauses and edits a few sentences out, from the script he is given on the screen. He presses "Enter".
14) The scene starts again, but this time doesn't make much sense, as Joel is not given enough time to understand what Florence is saying before she storms out, halfway through her now incomprehensible dialogue.
Florence: "I'm -off. ...Just happen to wear a skirt." She storms off.
Joel: "Eh ?? Come again?"
15) Getting annoyed, Andy presses more keys. Presses "Rewind" for some time. He comes across a scene showing Joel flirting with a girl. Andy: "Aha..."
In a bar, Joel finds himself next to an attractive girl after a common female friend has left to go to the ladies' room.
Joel: "So. Huh. You're a friend of Marina's then, eh?..."
Blandine, looking away: "Right."
Joel: "... And you were saying... you're having trouble with your consultant."
Blandine: "Yep. ... That creep's really messed up my account, and every time I try to get back to him, he's laying it on me big time. What a creep. Can't get any definite figure off this guy."
Joel: "Why don't you bring the matter to his manager?"
Blandine: "Yeah. Right. Straight to the head of Lloyds Ascot! Sure."
Joel: "You haven't tried? Surely your creep will be shitting himself -forgive my French- if he gets a bollocking from his big boss. Guaranteed. You should try, really."
Blandine: "Sure I should. And how exactly do I get his number?"
Joel: "Leave it to me. You wanna bet? You have a receipt from the bank? Some headed letter?"
Blandine: "Sure. Maybe. ... What, you serious? Let me see..." (goes through her handbag). "Here. What I saying, look."
Joel takes the letter: "Hmm... Here's the number..." Takes out his phone. Dials. "Hello? Hello? Is this the standard for Lloyds? Right, this is Barclays' regional had office, I need to speak to the head of Lloyds Oxford, is it Mr. Berg? ... Eh? Not Mr. Berg? Oh, this is Ascot here, so this must be Mr. Berg's new office then? .. No? Mr. Pickott you say? Mr. Pickott. Ah. Let me see, I have a Alan Pickott on my list here... David? David Pickott? Dear me, we need to update our records; in any case, please transfer me to Oxford, I still need to sort something out with Berg there. ... Eh? You have Mr. Dickins on your list? When was Mr. Berg gone? You don't know? Tell me, lass, how long you've been working here, I used to deal with Mr. Berg on a regular basis a few years ago! That must have been before whatshisname took his place then... Orvell, that's it, Orvell replaced him. In any case, Mr. Dickins's in charge now, fine, pass me Mr. Dickins. Sure, his secretary, then. Miss... Greenwood, that's right. Sarah Greenwood. Ta. ... Allo? Sarah? Yes, Sarah? This is Orvell, yes, Dickie's predecessor, how is he? listen, Sarah, I'm in between two meetings at the Pru now, and I need to remind Dave Pickott in Ascot of our golf, I haven't got his mobile on me, could you be an absolute angel and remind me, great. ... Sure, I'll hold. Should be under "P", I should think, ha! Yes... Yes... That's the one... 55..6...8..55 -pre-ci-se-ly! Smashing. Thank you Sarah and say "Hi" to Dickie for me will you? Great. Bye." Hands Blandine the number on a napkin: "There you go. The numero uno's private number. Feel free to use it in the evening sounding like you've got access to many numbers he wouldn't want to hear from."
Blandine: "Wow. Phew, I say. You're a dangerous man to know you are. What is it you're doing again, you said?"
Joel, getting up (falsely modest): "Bah. Piece of cake. All in a day's work, could get you much better info than that, anyway, must dash. I take it I'll be seeing you at Taylor's party in Friday?"
Blandine: "Party, what party? That's the first I hear about it!"
Joel: "Oops. Oh dear, looks like you've been kept out of the loop, this is a bit of a hot one, this one, Taylor's notorious Fridays... Tell you what, get down there anyway, and if someone asks you, tell them I 've invited you on his behalf, OK?" Starts to leave.
Blandine: "But. Hang on. Hang on, where is this secret occasion I wasn't informed of?"
Joel: "Oh. Sure, of course, it's taking place at the Turtle Club on Friday, starting at eleven. Get there looking foxy, and -I was just thinking- if Marina hasn't mentioned it to you, ...maybe better not mention it to her. She's probably haven't been short-listed herself, no need to rub it in, bye, gottafly now!"
Joel leaves the table and the bar with a secret smirk on his face: "I'll see you alright, on Friday baby you and me..."
16) Andy voice-over:"Good."
He deletes large excerpts from this scene and re-edits/replays it. Comic effect, as Joel suddenly finds himself in another part of the room (where he is supposed to stand at the end of the previously shown scene). He is puzzled, but exits as he is supposed to, with a smirk on his face. He catches himself smirking in a mirror, and readjusts his features, startled; he looks around the bar, and leaves for good. Andy voice-over: "Well, whatever. OK... what's our timeline now..." Timing appears on the screen, as it does in sound editing versions.
17) Still images/scenes skipping, Joel is now back at his crossroads. "Sorted." Joel stares at his destiny and decisively presses the accelerator.
18) Cut to Andy, jubilant: "Yeap, sorted. Phew... Now, where is our babe I'm starving, anyone seen the sandwich girl yet? Trolly Dolly? Sarnie Sandy? She should be around by now. Oh. She has been around already, has she? Ah. What’s the time now, I get confused."
But a previously glimpsed female colleague tut-tuts him: "Now excuuuse me here, but you just can't alter the global timeline like that, you're affecting my records! I've got a traffic jam developing now, what with the new evolutions. No no no, I can't accept your overriding..."
Andy, annoyed, goes up to her (under his breath; "Forfffuck's sake, what is it again, you old trout...): "Let's see, what's up Doc? How may I be of service?"
He checks his colleague's PC screen: a dozen records are turning red in her rolling sequence of numbers. She points them out and explains: "From their origin, I can see they're yours, you must have F-fived your sequence is my guess; well, it's all good and well at first sight you might think, but see what happens if you cut me off fifty seconds of my line!" She presses a few keys.
19) Back to the flirting scene, but this time shown from another angle. The timeline at the bottom of the screen indicates in a different colour the edited segments. These affect an important discussion involving bystanders, the issue of which is drastically altered as a result of Andy's manipulation. (Comic effect: for instance, somebody walks into a door which has now been closed by Andy's edit.) A bystander who was supposed to sign a contract now finds herself talking to herself, as her locutor has been deleted from the scene.
19) Andy's colleague: "Now. You see what you've done? You can't just chop and chuck out what you don't fancy, life's a bit more complex, everything's linked. F-fiving is only acceptable as a last gap measure, I will refer you to the manual I'm afraid. Last gap measure. Only for Grade As; is he a grade A? Is he a president, a scientist or a pop star? No? Then you can't take this route, no way, that'd be too easy. If we start treating everybody the same, giving them the same privileges... Besides, with what you're creating, I've got a world of trouble piling up on my side as a result now, and I won't have that. No way." Indeed record numbers begin to turn red on her screen. "Sort out your own mess, Andy, and you'd better do it quick before you paralyse the entire system. I can only deal with a few minor jams; after that, it gets... exponentially hairy!"
Andy tries a few things, to no avail. There could be an aural indication, such as a little soundtrack tune (no more that thirty seconds), that always fittingly ends up badly: the tape is shred, or slows down, or it's the sound of a record skipping, this sort of amusing disaster signature.
Andy, starting to sweat: "Right, that's it, I'm stuck, I don't get it! ... If this son of a bitch insists on..." Puzzled, annoyed, he stares at his screen, presses a few more keys in vain, now seriously panicking. More beep-beeps (error messages) on his workstation, to his consternation and his colleagues' increasing irritation. Looking at the intimidating (editor) office door, under his breath: "Je... sus, I'm lost at sea here, what d'you want me to do?" Big sighs.
Then, sheepishly, Andy gets up and makes his way to the old spinster type. "Maysie. Maysie, er..., sorry to disturb you again but, I'm, really stuck now. Frankly. I'm lost for a solution. I went through all standard procedures, but... this son of a -... gun- keeps having it his own way or else he messes up the entire picture, this is getting really embarrassing and I, er, ...since you are the most senior here and an expert, I, er, need your help. Please."
Maysie allows herself a little smile, pretends not to flinch, and then finally answers. "Fancy that. Mr. Hotshot. So you don't find "so boring" (words he had used during the film) after all, then... Let me ask you, Andy. Why do you think you're experiencing difficulties with this particular record? Hmmm? You wanna play God -ha! You want to cut corners, like your subject down here? ... Let's recap before we reconfigure. Chronology - actions -process - effects. I take it you applied all standard procedures..."
Andy: " Yeah yeah, sure. I mean... I think I did, I've been very thorough, respected the guidelines."
20) Back to the main story: stills and decomposed scenes; fast-forwards and rewinds, "Groundhog Day" style, chopped up dialogue recomposed to form nonsensical/funny sentences.

21) Andy: "...It's just that, ahem, some people are never, er, satisfied with... ahem, their destiny, like..."
Maysie: "So you chopped and chucked. And each time you end up producing an overspill, is that right?" Cut to the various resolutions, each of them ending in tragedy or impossibility, such as: a character is driving and suddenly finds herself devoid of a car, and falls on her arse, cartoon-style, in the street. One of the colleagues looks up from his/her screen, unimpressed: "Eh. What you playing at, there? You want to create a diplomatic incident? Careful -cos' otherwise, I might just redirect my tropical tornado up your Northern arse, OK?"
22) -Cut to a Russian looking avenue, suddenly invaded by a cloud of locusts, to everyone's amazement (or other example to decide).-
23) Andy, red-faced under Maysie's interrogation: "Well, yes... I must admit."
Maysie: "You must admit. ... Or do you have to? Did you have a choice here in the first place?"
Andy: "OK OK, I admit it. I admit it, I have no choice but to hold my hand up, pure and simple. There's no more alternative now, I've typed myself in a corner. Ecco."
Maysie: "Right. We're getting somewhere, now. So we agree that we have run out of copping out alternates; and that we have reached the point of no return."
"Yes yes"
"And why do you think that is, then?"
"Gee, I'm really stuck here. I thought... I thought I had some leeway here, some licence, but... -looks like I've used it all up already."
"Maybe you have. Maybe you have. But are you the only determining factor here?"
"What do you mean?"
"Are you the only force at work here? ... What about our young friend down there? ... Have you checked the indecision rate?"
"The indecision rate?"
"Have you ever considered there might be a slight imbalance here? Hmm? Between your two forces, yours ...and his?"
They check on Andy's PC. "From what you're saying, it sounds to me like a typical case of... See? Indeed. You've overdone it in the determinism ratio lately. Looks to me like someone here's been very heavy-handed recently with his microcosm. As you know, the system can only tolerate a certain swing of the pendulum in one direction, until it compensates with -let's see... ha! Check out this amazing free agent rate. 25, 5. Quite impressive. You're starting to get what happened? Your repeated tampering and forced resolutions left right and centre are coming back to haunt you, and this Mr. Thivend is the beneficiary: at this rate, I daresay he's almost out of control."
24) Back to sequences from the start showing Joel as a free spirit.
Scene in which a young Joel with fresh haircut and ill-fitting suit is seen starting a new job in an office.
The head of personnel, with glasses on a chain, unctuous and cackling: “Right, right, very good, Mr. Thivend, five minutes early, we like that, we appreciate at Quorum. In fact you will notice that all your colleagues have already arrived, we do value punctuality and a dedicated disposition at Quorum. Sit yourself down, that is very nice, yes, yes –feeling comfortable? Good. You have already familiarised yourself with the equipment, very good, you are now ready to get started at this moment in time. You will soon acquire the automatisms, just note how your colleagues proceed and you will be on your way in no time. –May I advise you to pay special attention to your neighbour, Miss Williams? Ten years in the company, never heard a peep from her –model employee.” Cut to the gormless employee in question. “You have your little headphones, you have your paperpad, nice, nice –note our very Quorum heading, a touch of distinction or what-, you should now be ready to answer all these exciting phone-calls. Off you go, young man, and remember, no swearing allowed, tut tut, we don’t allow that at Quorum. Now, just remind me, what is your opening line?”
“Opening line?”
“Yes yes, your corporate greetings, what is it again, Young Joel?”
“Er… Good morning, Quorum helpline, how may I help you…?”
“A-ha, not exactly! That was a good answer, but not the correct one –what does your Quorum paperpad state?”
“Oh. Er… “Good morning to you dear Sir –or Madam-, this is your personal Quorum dedicated helpline operator, how can I be of service?””
“E-xactly. “Good morning to you dear Sir –or dear Madam, should our external customer actually be of the opposite gender, geddit?-, this is your personal Quorum dedicated helpline operator, how can I be of service?” Now repeat after me…”
“Eh? Er… “Good morning to you dear Sir… –or dear Madam-, this is your personal Quorum dedicated helpline operator, how can I be of service?””
“Very – good Joel, I say, very good. Now you have entered the Quorum service mindframe, now you are ready to provide the very best service that we, at Quorum, pride ourselves on. Service, Joel, service. The best excellence in town. Can you feel it already?”
“Er, yes, sure; I can feel it.”
“This is the Quorum ethos, and every single each and every one of our internal customers must be penetrated with its importance. Service - excellence. Our external customers must be simply proud of having their calls answered by us.”
“Hmm… sure, absolutely.”
“Very well, I can see that you are already getting into the Quorum mindframe, I have no doubt you will be outstanding, and remember, do not hesitate to pay attention to your colleague Miss Williams should you need inspiration.”
A bit flustered and intimidated, Joel steals glances at his less than exciting colleagues, puts on his headphones and gets started. Soon he receives a call which flummoxes him. Unable to make sense of the caller’s broken English, he panics a little and lets fly a “fucking “ell”; the voice instantly changes to his superior, amused and patronising:
“A-ha! What was it I’ve just heard, young-Joel? Huh-oh! Could it have been…an inflammatory cursing? Surely not!!”
“Er.. Mr. Argwa?”
„Yes, young-Joel, for it is me! Ha ha, you see, I have this wonderful facility at my fingertip, which allows me to dial my staff –it’s called a telephonic device- just to test them, to keep you on your little toes as it were, hee hee! And I’m not exactly sure I would approve of what I have just heard…”
“Oh, er, sorry about that, I was a bit taken aback by the caller”
“the external customer”
“yes, by the external customer and I, ahem, sort of…”
“You sort of swore young man, is what you did –just admit it. Tut-tut, I will let you off this time, yes I will, but do bear in mind, if you please, that swearing is not allowed at Quorum, it displays a total show of disrespect towards your customers –a well as a worrying lack of education.”
“Absolutely, I will.”
“Very well, Joel, very well. And by the way, should you get caught doing it again, one week of your salary will be docked off, I sadly have no choice in the matter but to apply the letter of the law.”
“Sure, absolutely.”
“Very well, Joel, and another point of detail while we’re at it, I don’t seem to recall your greeting me in the accepted Quorum manner..”
“I didn’t? I, I do think I did, Sir –with due respect…”
“Huh-Oh, no you didn’t young Mr. Thivend, you told me –and here I quote: “Good morning Sir, this is your personal Quorum dedicated helpline operator, how can I be of service?” Now. Tell me what’s missing in this sentence –not erroneous nor ungrammatical by the way, but… What was missing in your greeting?”
Pause. Joel gets up from his cubicle, surveying the little maze and fixes the team leader: “What was missing? Why, let me think: “Good morning justifiably outraged ripped-of customer, gormless brainwashed unconcerned monkeys incorporated, how can I run your phone bill?”
The superior gasps.
Joel continues, at full voice, stared at by the whole room: “To be followed by: “Hang on, I’ve got a better idea: why not make a better use of your telephonic device, old Mr. Arga, and insert it inside your anus? How does that sound now? Any better?” He rips his headphones off, unknots his tie and makes a grand exit.
Cut to a football match: Joel, to his friends’ amazement, “does a streaker” and runs out onto the pitch. (Should be fun to shoot, if we can get the Scouser Mark Roberts to do it for real!)
And another such example.

25) Back to the controllers’ office.
Maysie: "Quite impressive, our subject here seems to have been a bit of a serial offender. I haven't seen a free agent rate like this one since... oh, Leonardo or Boris Vian, dear me! This is a subtle programme, in case you have forgotten; all data linked, within an overall balance to respect."
Begrudgingly, Andy grumbles: "OK OK, I get it. I was wrong, I've been too hasty in my resolutions."
"Indeed. Such is not our mission; ours is not to fire off resolutions and be damned, young man. Resolutions is the easiest button to press, any nine-to-fiver can do that; it's about... enforcing progressions, harmonising courses, this takes skill. Skill and patience. No butchering job in my department if you don't mind. We don't deal with African zones or with a world war period do we! This department, let me remind you, allows for a bit more diplomacy. You want to cross out entire sections, you want to apply for another section in the building! I hear some sunnier areas are a bit more... tasty, as you will call them."
26) Cut to another office, a fat employee munching on a burger nonchalantly crosses out (Shift Key + Arrow down a long list) an entire section on his screen. Accompanying sound effect: a bomb slowly falling down. Explosion.
27) Andy: "OK OK, I know you're right, I've been too detached from my subjects, I hold my hand up. So what do we do now? How do we deal with it?"
"I love the "we", dear; love the "we". Hmm... How we proceed, then, in a case like this is, considering you must have already tried the usual operations -you have? Well we go for the big gun. I've seen this happen before, you know. Young Turks like you, who don't care for their subjects, they think they have full power, full control, and end up getting their period in a fine mess. Thankfully Auntie is here. We're gonna solve this... the only way remaining, before" -looking respectfully at the office door- "before we reach for the alarm and get some people involved."
Shudder, sigh, she sits down at his desk. "OK, give me your seat -and fetch me a nice cuppa will you. Milk, one sugar, thanks. Now. What's your password? I need to access your past and peripheral databases."
Andy: "Thanks, Maysie, I -appreciate it, you're really saving my ars- my skin here, you really do, tell you what, I'll owe you one, promised; next time you have a... a crimewave starting in your sector, I'll import it in mine, with no mention of the balance-sheet."
Maysie, without looking up: "Swap me an genital infection for a free-scoring footballer, is that a deal?"
Andy: "That's a deal."
Donny announces jokingly: "Your life -retake! Please gather round to witness the miracle of the mighty Maysie."
Her colleagues gather around her admiringly to study her work as she goes about the task, mumbling to herself. Lines from films -i.e. lives- on the soundtrack, from different voices: "So you 'll call me, right?" "Sure I will.... (in your dreams)!" "You make your bed, you lie in it." "And let that be a lesson to you!" "Oh you didn't!" "...and then she turned into a bicyle." with rewinding sound effects. All along, the clerks are assembled around Maysie, looking at us (i.e. the computer screen) with variously amused, dubious, interested expressions. Maysie concentrates for a moment, then starts punching numbers, mumbling to herself: "Let's see... Yeah, well... hmm... obviously if he insists on having it his way, he won't get many... well... What if he... ah... thanks god for that!... 'Problem is... well...It's not my job to rewrite the entire history! ...OK then... if you want to play silly bugger...". She finally presses "Enter".
28) Cut to an Oriental country. A butterfly flies near a dog that starts barking. The dog strains against the leash and then calms down. But he has knocked a dirty jar. An insect is attracted by the smell and flies off, only stopping to sting someone sleeping, who wakes up and scratches himself. It's a young boy, who can't go back to sleep. Later, he gets up to go working in a football shoe assembly line. The boy is in need of sleep and doesn't concentrate on his work: he misses a couple of stitches in one shoe. Close-up of the shoe, which gets packed up and sent away to Europe, where it is sold to a footballer, who runs onto the pitch wearing it (all in a one shot sequence). It is raining, and players keep slipping left right and centre. At some stage indeed, the referee blows for a penalty after a player goes down inside the box. Outrage in the other team, but the referee maintains his decision and even books a dissenter. Another player prepares to take the penalty but finally leaves it to the one who we have been following. Close-up of the shoe, which sole gets increasingly unstuck. The player fails to score. Jubilation on one side, despair on the other: panorama showing the disconsolate supporters. Then back-zoom to a TV retransmission of the match, broadcast in a garage. The guys watching it call a mechanic over to join in their celebration. The man is ecstatic; in his elation, he absent-mindedly crosses out a box on his list of to-do items. This item is Joel's car's transmission system: fast zoom inside the machine a la "Fight Club"/"CSI". The next day, Joel comes to pick his car and goes off to meet Florence. They argue. He drives off, but a zoom on the underside of his car reveals a leak or something. As he arrives at the crossroads and pauses for a long time in his suicidal state, leaving his engine running, the leak is seen to get worse on the undercarriage. Back inside the car, Joel decides to end it all and revs up the engine (as shown in the original scene) ...but the car doesn't start. It doesn't start. Baffled, he starts again, furiously, and gets out, kicking the car. The police cruiser turns up logically and the cops ask him what is going on. Joel automatically calms down and points out his car trouble; the helpful cops advise him to call for help and notice he is a bit upset: "You're alright buddy?". After a while, Joel locks the car and calls a cab "to go to work". On his way, he is all thoughtful; suddenly inspired, he makes a few calls, hooking up with an old girlfriend, cancelling his offer to buy a flat, and announcing to his old mother that he will visit her this weekend to her delighted surprise. He feels much better. The taxi driver announces: "Here we are."
29) Joel arrives at the office where Andy works. He greets the man at the reception:
“Mr. Hades. So sorry I’ve been kind of…otherwise engaged. Circumstances beyond my control, like.”

The end.